Stop Hating Yourself and Learn Self-Acceptance
It can be easy to fall into the trap of despising your life when there are so many comparative triggers surrounding you. With the flick of the phone, you have access to millions of people “living their best life” and posting gorgeous photos. This constant exposure could deeply impact how you see yourself and your lot in life.
Without adequate, mindful filtering, it is very possible to let these feelings about circumstances or events become an unconscious self-definition of yourself. Instead of being able to see the separate parts, it all becomes one big lump of envy and regret.
If your earlier years were unsupportive or even abusive, you probably already deal with the seeds of self-hatred. Unrealistic comparisons to others are fertile ground for self-hatred to grow into a force that can take away your joy of life, and limit your progress in many areas.
Shedding an entrenched personality of self-hatred and embracing a new, positive mentality is challenging. However, it isn’t impossible, and many people have overcome their subconscious conditioning. With time and effort (mostly emotional), you can learn how to stop hating yourself and embrace self-acceptance.
How to Stop Hating Yourself
One key to diminishing your inner hatred and moving forward emotionally is to focus on your positive qualities. If envy is a problem for you, make sure you realize at a deep level that everyone has issues. The bright images on social media are a snapshot, a tiny sliver of life, often posed or staged. It is not an accurate representation of a person’s happiness, either in quantity or quality.
Pay attention to what you do best and reflect on your positive attributes. Even if you are currently hiding them from the world, you know the real you. If you are a kind and decent person, be proud of yourself. You don’t have to have another person’s validation to make it so. By focusing on those, you’ll release the negative and invite the positive.
It can take time and real effort to convince your subconscious mind, but over time, you’ll begin to feel better, in a general sense, and things will become easier, requiring less impetus. You will be less adversely affected by the inevitable tough days, events or people. Instead, you’ll view them as a feedback mechanism.
Ask yourself – ‘could I have handled this differently?’ If so, plan to do so next time. If not, accept it. There is great personal power in recognizing that some things are beyond your control, and simply accepting that, and not internalizing any negative inputs to carry with you.
Another proven way to stop hating yourself is to identify the root of your self-hatred. Does it stem from childhood trauma? Negative influences? Societal standards? Identifying the answers to these questions will help you better understand your subconscious drivers.
If you’re unable to either understand why you have such strong feelings or are unable to mitigate them by yourself, solicit the help of a professional. Trained counselors can help you get to the root of your inner issues as well as formulating positive coping strategies.
There should be absolutely no shame in getting help for issues relating to self-hatred. A healthcare professional is trained to be non-judgmental and to help you through any issues you may have.
The Importance of Loving Yourself
Practicing self-love works wonders for your self-esteem, which goes hand-in-hand with overcoming feelings of self-hatred. In addition to increasing your confidence, loving yourself is excellent for your overall health. It’s no secret that intense self-hatred often leads to depression and anxiety. When left untreated, these intense feelings can lead to physical harm.
Learning how to minimize those strong, negative feelings and embracing positivity will help you begin to live a fulfilling life of purpose. Loving yourself is also an essential part of getting others to love you as well. While this shouldn’t be your primary reason for self-love, it’s a definite bonus benefit!
When others see that you value yourself, they’ll treat you with that same respect.
How to Develop Self-Acceptance
Developing self-acceptance takes time and effort, but it’s well worth the work. It will help you see your inner power and provide respect from others. You’ll become less inclined to try to appease others by altering your behavior in ways that do not benefit you. Self-acceptance is the highest form of self-actualization.
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