How Does Self-Hatred Start?
There is no shortage of hate in the world. From racism to sexism, the laundry list of ‘generalized’ negative vibes is ever-growing.
With the abundance of third-party hatred circulating, it’s frustrating and potentially damaging when those negative feelings creep into our own minds. This has obvious and dangerous consequences on societies, making them less inclusive and also less happy.
Worse than this, at a personal level, is self-hatred. Self-hatred is both insidious and pervasive. Although it can affect all aspects of their lives, and limit their opportunities and happiness, those who suffer from feelings of self-hatred most often do not identify it as such. Instead, they are more likely to focus on the negative outcomes it provides, further diminishing their self-esteem.
It is possible for unconscious negative feelings to be mitigated over time, such as from being exposed to a more caring environment. However, the most rapid progress will be made by first recognizing that self-hatred may be a part of your emotional make-up and if it is, identifying triggers and working on them.
Self-hatred seems like such a strong term. It almost makes you shudder just saying it – unfortunately, millions of people all over the world struggle with intense feelings of low self-worth, resulting from their hidden and often unrecognized feelings of self-hatred.
If we’re all meant to treat our bodies (including our minds!) like a temple and unconditionally love ourselves, how is it that such intense hate could fester within?
To help determine why it occurs and where self-hatred comes from, let’s consider some possible roots that could contribute to extreme feelings of low self-worth. By analyzing possible triggers, this could shed light on this vital mental health issue and help ourselves and others gain the help they need to begin loving themselves.
Traumatic Experiences
Some individuals may blame themselves for unfortunate events that have happened in their past. Although these terrible things aren’t their fault, it is inherent in some circumstances that blame or responsibility is transferred to the victim.
Carrying around the heavy burden of fault does lead people down the path of low self-worth. For example, if someone suffered from sexual assault or domestic violence and blamed themselves for the outcomes, they may find it difficult finding the positivity in their character.
These feelings reside in the subconscious, so there may be no obvious connection to current events. These feelings, when not dealt with properly, could lead to eventual self-hatred.
Toxic People
Being exposed to toxic people consistently is a breeding ground for self-hatred. Even if it does not result in the physical expressions referred to above, mental and emotional states can be damaged by uncaring or malicious others. Whether it’s an overly critical mother or an emotionally abusive partner, the effects of toxic individuals are strong and long-lasting.
Low Self-Esteem
If you harbor low self-esteem, you may find taking on new challenges difficult. This can be the thin edge of the wedge, resulting in you thinking you’re worthless or unable to accomplish anything.
Low self-esteem can affect every aspect of your personality. This weakness can leave you vulnerable to seeking out negative coping strategies, such as co-dependency, and allowing toxic people to exercise unrighteous dominion over you.
Comparison
Comparison can become a toxic habit that robs you of your happiness. If you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, you aren’t noticing the beauty within yourself. This can be the start of feelings of self-hatred.
Today, social media is one of the main culprits of this form of comparison. Daily, we’re exposed to individuals living “their best lives.” If you’re going through a rough patch, it could be hard to see through the façade that others portray.
Societal Standards
What society determines to be beautiful is often outrageous and medically enhanced. Since it’s hard to achieve these looks naturally, it makes many people believe they just aren’t good enough. They may see models or celebrities and wish they looked like them. In turn, they begin to hate how they look. Of course, the uncaring or spiteful words of contacts and even loved ones can compound these feelings of inadequacy.
Unfortunately, this constant exposure leads to the detriment of happiness. That’s why it’s so important to constantly remind yourself of your good qualities and not let the opinions of others get you down.
Overcoming self-hatred takes time and patience. Often, especially when dealing with issues of trauma, professional help is necessary. By getting to the root of your self-hatred, you’ll have better tools needed to effectively overcome it. This will help you to redesign a more fulfilling and purposeful life.
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